this one goes out to all our fly, deviant-alien-sex-loving honeys

Do I make you hoooorny? That, madam, is illogical.

Let’s take it old school today, with a flashback to last week’s post about the “Area 51 Love Doll”. (Gosh, a week?—has it been that long?) A certain commenter noted that the National Evil wrote about this doll from a “male perspective.”

In addition to making an enemy for life, said commenter raises a valid point. As the victim of a genetic conspiracy, the National Evil does tend to view things from the prism of his gender. He can’t help his rampaging Y chromosome. But that doesn’t stop him from considering such input and wondering . . .

Pop culture teaches us that the blow-up sex doll—be it in the form of a woman, a vagina-mouthed tri-boobed woman, or a sheep—is a male pursuit. And offhand, I can’t argue (though Catherine the Great was said to be fond of her inflatable horse). But surely there are women out there feverishly pumping life into a plastic Adonis.

So we’ve reluctantly accepted that there are men out there for whom a rosebud-lipped, duo-boobed woman is just not enough. Does that mean there are women out there fantasizing about a, I dunno . . . proboscis-schlonged Alien stud?

The question, Ladies: What would you look for in a male “Area 51 Love Doll”?

The National Evil would appreciate any feedback on this most important of issues.


7 thoughts on “this one goes out to all our fly, deviant-alien-sex-loving honeys”

  1. Clearly, my love doll would have a 15 inch dick (that’s girth I’m talking about) with little bunny ear appendages that tickle my “special” parts. In addition, his hands would be the size of frying pans and have thick, sausage-like fingers. At night, he would spoon me and hold me ever-so-close while whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

    Honestly, I don’t think girls buy blow-up dolls. I think most of us would consider the idea a little bit sad. Or maybe I’ll just speak for myself: Buying a blow-up doll would be admitting to failure. Besides, women look to men to fill emotional needs. Other than that, our physical needs can be met by “methods” that are far less cumbersome.

    …and do I already have a female blow-up doll in my closet anyway? Of course.

  2. I’m confused. In the post about the chipped tooth, The National Evil was referred to as a woman, but in this post as a male. Which is it? Does the National Evil have gender issues?

  3. yes! that’s right! the national evil is a tranny. deal with it. move on.

    and–and!–s/he would like to point out that dressing up as a woman isn’t a “gender issue” thing. it’s a comfort thing. also, you get WAY better service at bars as a female. though you do get hit on. even if you don’t shave the beard. weird.

    and as for you, bo-bara etc., you raise an interesting point . . . i hadn’t considered the much, much hotter girl-on-blow-up-girl possibilities. but don’t see buying a blow-up doll as failure. think of it as supporting an underreported but sizzling hot segment of our economy in these our recessed times.

    the national evil will admit to owning no fewer, but no more than, three (3) blow-up dolls. but we only bring them out to stage tea parties in the back yard.

  4. yes . . . modesty is called for when discussing the requirements for one’s dual-mouthed alien sex doll.

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