hey, it worked for lenin, so . . .

Be honest. Would you rather worship here . . .

. . . or HERE? YEAH!!!

The National Evil hovers, godlike, above the scrum of organized religion. Let the “world faiths” have their doctrinaire spats and spiritual turf wars; the National Evil recognized the One Truth at age eight, when he realized religion would be so much cooler if it followed the template set by Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Where, he wanted to know, were the fire-belching lava vortices in the churches he’d been to? And what about the giant skele-altar? Heck, even Iron Maiden’s stage designer managed that on the World Slavery Tour.

Really—when was the last time you departed a religious service via underground mine car?

That said, looka this story about the body of an Italian saint exhumed and gussied up for Lenin-style viewings. Our favorite line:

His face was reconstructed with a lifelike silicone mask of the type used in wax museums because it was apparently too decomposed to show when the body was exhumed.

Of course, what the hapless pilgrims don’t know is the true identity of the figure wearing that mask.

That’s right—it’s Tom Cruise, shooting Mission: Impossible 4.

Enjoy the weekend. If possible, watch a bike race.


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