the national evil, fount of originality, is under rip-off assault!

Back to the Man Show with ye, Adam.

. . . By ABC/Disney, no less. Seems the powers-that-be in the Mouse House took a strong disliking to Evil’s campaign against Mickey’s write-in candidacy. And have chosen to respond by shamelessly ripping off the Evil’s material.

The setup: Evil regularly downloads ESPN’s podcasts. (ESPN is owned by ABC, in case you didn’t know.) One of his favorites is “The B.S. Report”, hosted by one Bill Simmons, a.k.a. the Sports Guy.

Well, lo and behold: during the July 22 podcast, Herr Simmons and funnyman Adam Carolla totally coincidentally got into a conversation about a song you might have . . . hmm . . . liked once, but have heard it so much now that you . . . hmm . . . don’t ever want to again. Would like to banish it, perhaps?

Sound familiar, FOEs?

Evil was willing to let this slide until Mr. Carolla then posited his one song never to hear again. Was it “Take My Breath Away”? Something by the BeeGees? “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”? Noooo.

It was “Hotel” fucking “California”.

Wow, fellas! No one has ever written about that!

Now. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yeah—and clichés are the lamest form of bullshit.

But, you say, isn’t it possible Adam Carolla came to this conclusion independently of the Evil? Perhaps his opinion even predates the Evil’s?

Impossible! In every cosmology worth a damn, Evil is said to have sprung forth at the moment of creation or soon after. Whereas this Carolla character dribbled from his mother’s loins a mere 44 years ago.

It only got worse when Evil then listened to the “Thundering Herd” podcast from July 25, when host Colin Cowherd’s assistant noted that—gasp!—the Vatican has decreed it’s OK to believe in aliens! Way to stay on top of things, guys!

Clearly the ESPN research team is mainlining the Evil. And Evil understands—these poor souls have to provide content for multiple networks, radio programs, espn.com, and now former Man Show hosts. These humble drones struggle to find ways to make things like bowling, Golden Tee, and competitive walking sound interest while enduring a rain of “Boo-ya!”s from Stuart Scott. So the Evil feels a certain level of . . . hmm . . . it isn’t compassion . . . pity, maybe? . . . for them.

That said, the Evil would appreciate a little attribution, guys. Rip off if you will, but don’t forget the Evil.

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2 thoughts on “the national evil, fount of originality, is under rip-off assault!”

  1. First, The Man Show was one of the most disappointing tv shows I’ve ever watched. Nothing but a ploy to squelch all those Jimmy Kimmel-Ben Stein rumors.

    But none of that matters. I know just how you feel. Michael Moore is able to read my mind, and has been using this diabolical super-power to steal ideas for movies. I first became aware of this when my mom took me to the 1989 Toronto Film Festival and I saw “Roger and Me.” That was totally my idea! Except my version didn’t have anything to do with the automotive industry and was a hell of a lot less whiny. I called it “Dropping the Big Brass Balls,” and it woulda changed the world.

    That was a long time and many movies ago. I’ve now worked out a foolproof method to foil the fiend — for every awesome film idea that pops into my head, I real quick think up one that really sucks. Then, I convince myself that the piece of shit idea is fabulous, and the next thing you know, Moore’s trying to turn it into something coherent, while I shoot the brilliant one. And it must be working, because in the last twenty years we’ve both been working, I’ve netted 679% more death threats than he has, and have been hospitalized for art-related injuries 56 more times than he has.

    It seems to me Adam Corolla is at least as dimwitted as Michael Moore is, so I suspect he should be easy to defeat using my psychic copyright infringement protection scheme.

  2. having your ideas kidnapped by m. moore . . . that is a hell to make sartre shudder.

    evil will try this technique. this blog is either about to become unbelievably excrecent or transcendentally craptacular!

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