the national evil bullshit word of the day: “sapid”

Up yours, Willy Shakes . . .

Recently, whilst reading a column about last week’s Major League Baseball trade deadline, the Evil thought he’d caught the column’s author misusing the word “insipid”—or, if not misusing, then streeeeeetching its definition to suit his (surely nefarious) purposes. But, being the good sporting type, the Evil perused the dictionary to see if there is perhaps a secondary definition of insipid of which he wasn’t aware.

There isn’t. Screw that columnist.

But that’s not important. Here’s the point: whenever the Evil finds himself reading a dictionary entry, he most enjoys the word origin section. And in the case of insipid?

“Early 17th cent.: from French insipide or late Latin insipidus, from in- ‘not’ + sapidus (see SAPID).”

Whoa—hold up there. “See SAPID?”

Say what? “Sapid?”

Now. The Evil doesn’t claim a Shakespearean vocab—the Bard is said to have used over 21,000 different words in his plays and poems. Though that has never struck the Evil as especially relevant, since Willy is also said to have made up around 1,500 words. That would be like the Evil claiming to know of more planets than you because of the 17 between Mercury and Venus only he can see.

So screw Shakespeare, too.

But that’s not important, either. What’s important is that the Evil, while not possessed of an immense vocabulary of made-up words, knows a thing or two about the English language. And he had never, not ever, heard of this word “sapid.”

However, in the spirit of learning something new every day, the Evil dutifully saw “sapid”. And he quotes:

“Sapid (adj.): Having a strong, pleasant taste.”

So basically it’s a synonym for delicious, scrumptous, tonguegasmic . . . and one could even say the Evil is sapid . . .

Could, that is, if “sapid” was not a totally bullshit word slipped in by the Merriam-Webster/Oxford/Illuminati language-control cartel. Seriously: have any of you, any one of you, EVER heard, read, or used the word “sapid”? Evil thinks not.

Not even in Shakespeare.

But hey, the Evil is game–if we’re just slinging around made-up words, how about, hmm . . .

“Scarfyucism (noun): An abscess of the soul caused by being lied to by the dictionary people.”


“Arquidian (adj.): Of or relating to red, blind rage aimed at the purveyors of bullshit words.”

How ya like that, Webster?

“Sapid” . . . Jesus . . .


One thought on “the national evil bullshit word of the day: “sapid””

  1. If you’d asked me, “Hey, Raul, what does sapid mean?” I woulda said “Somebody who’s making up words trying to act all smart when they’re really just a moron.” Because it starts out like it means knowing something (“saber”), then it ends just like “stupid.”

    See, this is why I didn’t used to talk. I heard Seth talking to other people for a long time before I met him, and I could never understand a damn thing he was saying. Like, maybe every fifth word was something I knew. The rest was all “bellicose cartesian sanguine glossolalia epicurious scintillating halitosis.” He had this book he carried around like the Bible, Finnegan’s Wake, all the time he’d start reading from the beginning, but he never got more than two pages in, but he loved this book so much. He used to talk about it all the time. One night he was really fucked up and passed out, so I was going through his stuff trying to figure out where he came from and stuff, and I looked inside that book, and I couldn’t understand even a single word of it. When he woke up I asked what language that was, and he said “English!” I don’t think I’ve ever felt more retarded in my life. So, I just decided to shut up before he figures out how dumb I am. Then Vic came along, they’d sit up all night going on and on like that, both of them acting like they knew what the other one was saying, but it was a bunch of gibberish to me so I’d just play my guitar because that was the only language I was any good at.

    Later on, Vic admitted to me that this James Joyce was just a drunk Irishman who made up a lot of words to impress everybody but nobody knows what the hell that book is about, and that’s the reason Seth never gets any further than page 12.

    And that explained everything.

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