the (inter)national evil goes on hiatus . . . but don’t hi-ate-us. get it? no? forget it.

The time has come, dear reader—to crush your hopes, to render your life meaningless, to make of your days a dreary humdrum hellscape. That’s right: the Evil is going on a fortnight’s hiatus.

Why? Travel. A journey. A quest.

For what? Revenge, of course.

Revenge on who? Ahem. You mean “on whom.”

This weekend, Evil travels to China seeking the truth behind his ancestry. Regardless of what his Scots-Irish appearance would seem to say about him, he’s pretty sure he is the direct descendent of the last emperor of the Yuan dynasty founded by Kublai Khan. Watch the news in the coming days: if CNN reports that hordes of mounted archers have overwhelmed the Communist Party and taken over the Chinese government, you’ll know Evil was right.

In either case—bloody conquest or abject failure—Evil will return in a fortnight (that’s Wednesday, October 29) to put National Evil Month to bed. In the meatime, to tide you over: the werewolf eroticism you’ve been demanding.

Yes, yes—Evil knows this is actually a scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula . . . but hey, Coppola fucked everything else up in regards to accuracy (vampires walking in the daylight, killing Drac with a sword . . . yeesh). Why not the fact that this is clearly a WEREWOLF?

Enjoy the fortnight. If possible, use the word “fortnight” as often as possible over the next fortnight. Fortnight fortnight fortnight.

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One thought on “the (inter)national evil goes on hiatus . . . but don’t hi-ate-us. get it? no? forget it.”

  1. Wait a minute, Evil is the rightful heir to the Xanadu Pleasuredome? Way to go! You really need to invite us over sometime. It’d be just like that movie Gothic — Raul and I can be the Shelleys (I call dibs on Percy!) and you can be Lord Byron. If Evil has a sister, she can play Claire for verisimilitude, and we’ll have to get some seriously sick fuck to play Polidori … hmm…. how ’bout Ted Haggard?

    It’s too bad Chinese television is in, well, Chinese, because I’ve got to believe the only thing more surreal than this election season would be watching coverage of it on Chinese news programs.

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