The time has come, dear reader—to crush your hopes, to render your life meaningless, to make of your days a dreary humdrum hellscape. That’s right: the Evil is going on a fortnight’s hiatus.
Why? Travel. A journey. A quest.
For what? Revenge, of course.
Revenge on who? Ahem. You mean “on whom.”
This weekend, Evil travels to China seeking the truth behind his ancestry. Regardless of what his Scots-Irish appearance would seem to say about him, he’s pretty sure he is the direct descendent of the last emperor of the Yuan dynasty founded by Kublai Khan. Watch the news in the coming days: if CNN reports that hordes of mounted archers have overwhelmed the Communist Party and taken over the Chinese government, you’ll know Evil was right.
In either case—bloody conquest or abject failure—Evil will return in a fortnight (that’s Wednesday, October 29) to put National Evil Month to bed. In the meatime, to tide you over: the werewolf eroticism you’ve been demanding.
Yes, yes—Evil knows this is actually a scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula . . . but hey, Coppola fucked everything else up in regards to accuracy (vampires walking in the daylight, killing Drac with a sword . . . yeesh). Why not the fact that this is clearly a WEREWOLF?
Enjoy the fortnight. If possible, use the word “fortnight” as often as possible over the next fortnight. Fortnight fortnight fortnight.