Hot damn. There, I said it.
. . . that the Evil has a thing for the Esurance girl? You know, this here pink-haired honey from the commercials?
Her name appears to be Erin. As in Erin Esurance. And while the Evil is no fan of cutesy alliterative names, he won’t hold that against her.
First off—before you pass judgment (and who the hell do you think you are, huh? The title of this post is rhetorical, punk), let us establish terms. Let us count the ways in which Erin E. is hot. Animatedly speaking, of course.
Obviously, there’s the whole skintight black catsuit thing. Big, expressive eyes. Nice, confident smile. She’s certainly a limber minx. And you know her voice is sexy.
She falls somewhere on the Hare Hotness Scale (long-recognized authoritative metric for judging the attractiveness of cartoon femininity) between Jessica Rabbit (a natural 10) and Bugs In Drag (a 5).
Not this hot . . .
. . . but hotter than this.
So we have definitively established Erin’s hotness. Now Evil will get to the heart of the matter.
He didn’t ask “Is it wrong . . . ?” because he wasn’t sure she’s hot. No, Evil asked because of the staggering array of pornographic depictions of her—or any animated femme—one can find online. Not that he was looking for them. In fact, Evil is astonished that there are apparently people out there—ah hell, let’s just say men—who spend a considerable amount of their time, creativity, and masturbatory energy drawing pictures of cartoon ladies like Erin, oh, giving head.
And that’s just the beginning. We’re only just peering into the depths of a grotesque abyss here. Trust the Evil: go to Google Image Search, type in the name of your favorite cartoon lady, make sure SafeSearch is turned OFF . . . and OFF you go. As a purveyor of clean, family entertainment, Evil shan’t publish them here. But you’re free to look. You freak.
The question, then: is acknowledging the hotness of a cartoon chick the first step over the brink into this sad little corner of the perversphere? Because Evil don’t want no part of that. Seriously. Jeez.
The closest he’ll ever come to that occurred when he used the image below in an article he wrote on Disney while in Journalism school.
But that was for jouralism! The Fourth Estate! Freedom of the press!
. . . And Evil got an A, thank you very much.