there is no misunderstanding: the national evil is sick. WOO-oo-OO!


Apropos of nothing . . .

So. Having defeated AT&T Wireless in single combat and acquired an iPhone at the actual, fair price, the Evil has been feeling pretty victorious. And sexy, because, you know . . . iPhone. Say it like the ladies who croon, “Shaft!” You’ll feel it. Yes you will.

Then came the day when, on a whim, Evil found himself wirelessly purchasing “Misunderstanding” by Genesis while sitting at his desk. For no better reason than he couldn’t get the freaking “WOO-oo-OO!”s out of his head. (Hey! Why not read this sterling defense of Phil Collins?)

And that—that—is how they’re going to get him. Well, not AT&T . . . they won’t see a dime of Evil’s 99 cents. Just the monthly unlimited internet fee he’s paying whether he downloads cheesy singles from the ‘80s or not. But that’s a sunk cost, see. Or at least that how the Evil sells it to himself. Apple, now . . . finally the Evil understands the nefarious genius of the whole iTunes/iPod/iPhone troika. Damn the convenience of wireless technology!

When the Evil shows up at your door unshaven, disheveled, with a bindle thrown over his shoulder, reeking of plastic-bottle liquor and an unshowered fortnight . . . you’ll know why. You’ll know he went bankrupt 99 cents at a time, his drug of choice (or is it a choice, really?) the bubbliest bubblegum pop of the Me Decade. It starts with “Misunderstanding” . . . but then, who knows? How long until Evil is shelling out coin for “Even the Nights Are Better” or “Keep Your Hands To Yourself?”

Evil is just thankful he already had his hands on “Sailing” before he bought this albatross on his life, the iPhone.

Anyone have any similar nightmare-purchasing-fugues to compare?

Enjoy the weekend. If possible, WOO-oo-OO!

(Postscript: The kicker? Evil arrived home to discover a copy of “Misunderstanding.” already lived in his iTunes library. Dayum.)


4 thoughts on “there is no misunderstanding: the national evil is sick. WOO-oo-OO!”

  1. I can certainly sympathize. The .99 song is probably most brilliant idea ever to come out of Apple/Mac, and that’s saying something. It’s not even a dollar! For a whole song! Of course at my house, it’s .99 for Eye of the Tiger for the kids, .99 for whatever is popular and manufactured this week for the wife, or .99 for Oye Como Va for me. Occasionally, I can’t help myself and look in the Purchased playlist to see how many songs we’ve bought, .99 at a time. Let’s just say over the last three years we could have made a very nice car payment with the money we are sending to Apple, and we don’t even have an iPhone. At least I have to remember I want to download a song and then do it later. I probably wouldn’t be able to handle the temptation of the instant download.

  2. i wonder if survivor has access to data indicating whether anyone ever buys any song by them BUT eye of the tiger . . .

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