wanted: an origin story explaining angelina jolie’s millions

The tats? Yeah, they’re fake, but everything else . . . huh boy.

Over the holiday weekstravaganza the Evil saw Wanted, a.k.a. Fight Club with guns, sans social satire. The main guy even looks a little like Ed Norton, or at least Norton’s love child with whatshisname from Scrubs. You know, the guy in Garden State. Put them together—Scrubs guy’s exaggerated goofiness with Ed Norton’s “I may look mild-mannered, but I’m about to explode” quiverishness—and you’ve got Wanted guy.

Evil isn’t here to offer a review of Wanted. No point. Either you can accept the logic of car-flips-over-another-car-and-while-upside-down-the-hero-shoots-the-target-through-the-sunroof-of-his-limo or you can’t. Five years ago that premise would have infuriated the Evil, but since then he has attended both a professional driving session and an elite SWAT team rooftop shooter gun course. And while he still can’t suspend enough disbelief to buy this stunt in the context of the movie, the Evil knows he could pull it off. So it’s more of an exercise in future-autobiographical-exploits-of-Evil than suspension of disbelief.