spray-on condoms, bigfoot, and the mainstream media: a smorgasbord of deviance

You’d think the one on the right would be bigger . . .

In what is threatening to become a marathon of posts regarding things Germanic, the Evil today brings you this piece from equally Teuton-obsessed Time concerning spray-on condoms. Uh-huh. Spray-on condoms. These things have been around since 2006, at least in prototype form, but the Evil is always moved to respond when the dreaded, loathed, and much-derided MSM works up the nerve to comment on the cutting edge of sex, art, or monster-hunting. In other words, until the Gray Lady is publishing articles about the search for Bigfoot, Evil don’t care.

Anyway, back to the condoms:

The prototype, which began testing last year, consists of a hard plastic tube with nozzles that spray liquid latex from all directions, much like the water jets in the tunnel of a car wash.

Whoa. Hold up. While one’s member does emerge shiny and moist from the car wash bay of the female anatomy, Evil isn’t quite sure this is the way to open the discussion. But let’s give the inventor a chance to speak. He admits that

some men were “worried that the mechanism, which hisses as it sprays, might ruin the mood.”

That’s ridiculous! Why, the Evil hisses when he sprays, so he really doesn’t see why that would be a problem. You just have to find the right lady—beautiful, adventurous, and ever so patiently accepting of one’s quirks.